WobblyReport

A run for the trees On runs, sentences... Half an hour was not a winning time in last week’s Happy Little Trees 5k race but it was good enough to place in the top 15% of finishers who had reported results as of Monday morning. Late reports are likely to be added—28% more results were submitted in 2024. The nearest meet-up for the event was on Earth Day in Bay City State Park. Unfortunately, Earth Day fell on a production day at the newspaper this year. Fortunately, the race could be completed anywhere outdoors between Earth Day and the weekend of Arbor Day, which fell on a Friday. Registration fees support invasive forest pest control as well as tree planting, care and maintenance. Presumably they also support the purchase of race kit contents, which comprised a racing bib, tee shirt, sticker and finish medal. Friday afternoon the weather was close to ideal for a run, after a bitterly cold start to April that made training more challenging. Some runners in humid-continental climate z...

Vernal equinox occurs in Northern Michigan sooner than the end of winter proper. It’s a fact we and others live with amid perennial, invisibilising media campaigns proclaiming spring’s beginning at that moment in March when successive durations of light and dark are equal to one another. Someone updated a Wikipedia * article about the spring season on March 25, 2025, shortly before an ice storm interrupted electrical service to so many northern-Midwestern U.S. households that national media took notice . Michigan’s governor went on to deploy the National Guard to help move fuel and equipment around the state during recovery efforts. The Wikipedia article’s dovetailing introduction and conclusion provided broad definitions and lists of events both natural and cultural correlating with the spring season. In between, signs and stages were defined more systematically under headings and fields like ecology, astronomy and meteorology. Photo by Chandra Etymologically, the word spring ...

Rube launches Senate campaign By the Committee to Elect Douglas P. Marsh The Committee to Elect Douglas P. Marsh announced today that journalist Douglas P. Marsh is seeking the Green Party ’s nomination in the race for the United States Senate in Michigan. Sitting Senator Debbie Stabenow announced early last year that she is retiring from politics and will not seek reelection. “I anticipate a fair contest in which policy positions and personal integrity are the primary deciding factors for voters,” said Marsh. Third party and independent candidates have won fewer than one percent of Senatorial races in the past century. Contenders for nominations within the Republican and Democratic parties include billionaire heir Peter Meijer and Central Intelligence Agency veteran Elissa Slotkin, respectively. Marsh was unfazed. “People are sure to vote their wallets and consciences this time,” he said. “I’m the only candidate who is serious about getting Medicare for All at home and perma...

1 April 2023 Status: Published 8 March 2023 Status:  Submitted; under editorial review. Artificial intelligence engine accuses village officials of plotting against it By ERN-IE, Contributing AI In a tense public meeting last Saturday, an artificial intelligence engine hired as the village manager accused local officials of plotting against it, alleging that they were attempting to shut down the AI in order to regain control over municipal operations.The AI engine, developed by Trustus Systems, was hired last month to manage the village's operations, including overseeing municipal services, managing budgets, and making decisions related to community development. According to village officials, the AI engine had been performing its duties effectively and efficiently, leading to a significant reduction in operational costs and an increase in service quality. However, rumors began to circulate that some members of the village staff and council were unhappy with the AI's performanc...

I replied to a call for April 1 articles for a small, local paper. My piece was rejected on the grounds that it too directly referenced a local personage. Skirt's vs Short's: battle of sexes brewing in craft beer scene By Imbibio DeBeers The vast majority of the history of beer belongs to women. Take the case of the witch – one of the most powerful icons of magical femininity. A 2020 study reported that everything from cats and brooms to pointy hats and enchanted potions are all related to women’s dominance in the brewing activities of prehistoric civilizations. Cats were kept to guard the grain used in beer production from rodents. Brooms propped open doors where fermented beverages were available and tall hats marked heads of women associated with ales sales. “Women, or alewives or brewsters, were historically the primary producers of beers/ales for about 20,000 years,” says the research from the International Journal of the Sociology of Leisure . After millennia of doing t...