Marsh for Mich.

Rube launches Senate campaign

By the Committee to Elect Douglas P. Marsh

The Committee to Elect Douglas P. Marsh announced today that journalist Douglas P. Marsh is seeking the Green Party’s nomination in the race for the United States Senate in Michigan. Sitting Senator Debbie Stabenow announced early last year that she is retiring from politics and will not seek reelection.

“I anticipate a fair contest in which policy positions and personal integrity are the primary deciding factors for voters,” said Marsh.

Third party and independent candidates have won fewer than one percent of Senatorial races in the past century. Contenders for nominations within the Republican and Democratic parties include billionaire heir Peter Meijer and Central Intelligence Agency veteran Elissa Slotkin, respectively. Marsh was unfazed.

“People are sure to vote their wallets and consciences this time,” he said. “I’m the only candidate who is serious about getting Medicare for All at home and permanent ceasefires abroad. How could I lose?”

Attending hundreds of public meetings as a community journalist, acting as delegate on numerous committees, and participating for years in interscholastic policy debate leave Marsh uniquely qualified but uncompromised by any special interests. Taking strong positions, like opposing the flow of oil through pipes along the lakebed in the Straits of Mackinac—pipes that are 20 years past their design-manufactured service life—will summon to the polls a heretofore silent majority in Michigan that is hungry for genuine change, he said.

He would also seek to limit short-term rentals to approved homes in which hosts are present, a policy recently adopted in New York City to mitigate its housing crisis. Marsh said he fully expects everyone in the state of Michigan who is cost-burdened by housing like he is to notice his campaign and vote for him this November.

“People want to vote for a completely normal guy with reasonable ideas about what government should be doing,” he said confidently.

Apparently in good health both physically and mentally, Marsh was optimistic about campaigning in the coming months, saying he stands ready for challenges he will no doubt face. Indeed, the tragic death of such a risk-averse and healthy individual will be a shock to those who know him.

“I’m depending on the natural dedication to honesty and fairness that exists in the world of billionaires and foreign intelligence services,” he said. “May the best person win.”